Consumers Supporting Midwifery Care

I thought Elena was going to be a boy, and I thought she was going to be born before her due date. I was wrong on both counts!

At my 40th week midwife appointment, I was told for the third time in a row that the babie’s head had only partially lodged in my pelvis. Since for first time moms this normally happens a week to two weeks before birth, there was some concern that I would go overdue. My husband and I had been excited at the concept of a home birth from early on, and we knew that they wouldn’t deliver at home if we went to 42 weeks.

Dr. Wei gave me an hour of acupuncture therapy, using about 15 different needles in points of my body that up until now, all of the experts say to stay away from (as to not induce labour). Now, he was touching all those points! The treatment made me relax deeply and seemed to release a great deal of heavy energy around my body. After the treatment, I felt rested and refreshed, but was disappointed to not be immediately going into labour. Dr. Wei suggested that we book an appointment to come back again in a few days, and we did so.

Twenty four hours after the first treatment, I began to have contractions. They were mild and about every ten minutes apart. I continued to be active throughout the day, and at night I took a Tylenol and Gravol and went to bed. I was able to sleep through most of the contractions, and by morning they had subsided.

We went to the second appointment, and a slight variation on the same treatment occurred again. We also requested moxibustion as we had heard that to be effective for not only turning babies into the correct position but for starting labour. Moxibustion is a stick of very smelly herbs that they light and hold against your pinky toe as close as they can.

Again, I felt relaxed, but alas, no labour. Until! Twenty-four hours after this treatment, contractions began again. They were mild again, but slightly more consistent than they had been the first time. David and I went to church in the morning where we had a church BBQ. I had a few mild contractions throughout the BBQ.

It was such a beautiful day that I suggested we take a hike after church before returning to home. It was to be the last hike we would have as only two! David and I hiked the Stony Swamp trail. At first I suggested we only go partway then turn around, but the day was so beautiful and I was feeling so well that we continued the length of the trail, approximately three kilometers.

The sun was shining down, the trees were green, and the wildflowers were in full bloom. David helped time my contractions as we walked – they were coming more regularly now, approximately every fifteen minutes or so.

We returned home and had dinner. The mild contractions continued roughly every fifteen minutes. After speaking on the phone to Allison, our doula, and confirming that early labour of this sort can last days or weeks, we had the wise idea to press again on the acupressure points, the same points Dr. Wei had stimulated. He had marked my body with black marker dots on all the locations David was to apply pressure to. At about 10pm Sunday night, David pressed on all of my points. The results were instantaneous. Suddenly, the contractions that had been mild, were now much more difficult to deal with. I wondered, what had I done – starting it this late at night!

David went to bed, and I stayed awake, finishing an art project I had started for the baby – two pictures to be hung in their room, one of a squirrel and one of a scarlet tanager, using fake fur, felt, and feathers. Daddy drew the pictures in the background and Mommy made the felt animals.

Finally, I had finished. I laid down in bed to go to sleep. Ouch! The contractions were too difficult to deal with lying down in bed. I took a hot bath, and another Tylenol and Gravol. This time, they didn’t work. The contractions were coming roughly every ten minutes, and they were more intense than any had been before. I woke up Daddy to help me deal with them, and time them.

David timed the contractions with me and provided support. We stayed awake together dealing with them from about 1am to 4:30am. They intensified to about every seven or eight minutes apart. At about 4:30 in the morning, I laid down again, exhausted. Regretting my decisions to have such an active day including a hike, then asking for the acupressure points to be pushed, I thought I was going into labour exhausted, and I began to cry in despair.

As I was crying, suddenly the baby began to bounce in my tummy. The baby bounced up and down like they never had before! A violent, insane bouncing. After about fifteen seconds of this, baby stopped, and suddenly, the contractions were mild once more. I was so surprised, and grateful. Praise the Lord! I was able to sleep the rest of the night, only awaking now and then for a contraction, but able to sleep in between them. I suggested to David to go to work, as I would try to sleep all day, and if anything changed, I would call him.

Daddy was so anxious he called twice in the day to check on me, only to have me say, “I’m fine, I’m sleeping!”. I was having contractions about every ten minutes, but they were mild enough to sleep through, and I slept all day long until Daddy came home at 4pm. I remembered the TENS machine that the midwifery clinic had for rental, and I asked Daddy to bring that home with him. We had a big hearty supper together, and had our last evening alone. At about 7pm, the contractions started to bother me, so I put on the TENS machine. What a wonderful thing! It provided relief through an electric current that disrupted the sensation of the contractions to my brain.

I went to bed early, and used the TENS machine to help me continue to lie down through contractions that were intensifying. Daddy went to bed, thinking that he would have another day of work tomorrow. I didn’t think he would!

Sure enough, at about midnight, the contractions became too intense to deal with lying down, even with the TENS machine. I woke up Daddy to help me time them, and I went into a hot shower which felt wonderful. The water on my back gave great relief.

By about 1:30am, we had timed many contractions, and saw that although they were not always a minute long or the same timing apart, in general they seemed to average about five minutes apart. The midwives had said to call them when the contractions were five minutes apart, one minute long, and had been occurring for an hour.

We called Allison, our doula first. We told her what was happening, and she said she would be over in about twenty minutes. Then we paged the midwives. Our midwife Denise called us back, and spoke with me on the phone. I could tell by her questions that she was trying to draw out the conversation in order to hear me have a couple contractions. She suggested trying to take a warm bath to slow them down and try to get more sleep. She said that if that didn’t work, and the contractions intensified to every four minutes, to page her again.

Shortly after that, Allison came through the door. I apologized to Allison, telling her what the midwife had said, thinking that perhaps they could slow down, and I shouldn’t have dragged her out of bed. Sweet Allison said that it was okay, and that she should be there long before the midwives come anyway. David told me later that he believed that by calling Allison, we would spur labour on, and without her, it could have stopped.

David got a little nap when Allison arrived. Allison had some different pain relief methods for me – she suggested I get down in the tub, and Allison began pouring water over my back in the tub during contractions. She also turned off the light in the bathroom, leaving on the hall light only. She filled the room with the smell of peppermint when I said I felt nauseous, which immediately took away my nausea. The pouring water on my back felt so good, it went from being a 6/10 in pain to a 3/10. Allison continued to time contractions. After awhile of this, they did not stop, they only continued to intensify and come closer together. We paged the midwife again.

I remember saying during labour, “At the end of this, I’ll get a baby?” I would have been happy going through the experience without a baby at the end, weird as that sounds, it all just felt so natural, like nature had a purpose for it and I didn’t need to know what it was, so to get a baby out of it was just this insanely spectacular surprise!

Denise arrived at about 3:30am. She checked the baby and felt my stomach during a contraction. She asked me to lie on the bed so that she could check my progress. She put her fingers in me and felt like she was poking up into my body, ow! I held onto David’s hand tightly. She said that I was 3-4cms dilated, but she was having trouble feeling the baby’s head because I had a big bag of waters in the way. She said that because some of the contractions were making me feel a bit like I had to go poo, the baby’s head could be in the wrong position. She also said that I may or may not be in active labour.

I laughed and laughed on the inside when I heard that! I knew I was in active labour, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Just because my contractions were irregular, and some were doubling or tripling, (all signs of a possibly protracted and long labour, and the baby’s head being in the wrong position), none of it mattered to me. I knew that my body didn’t have to follow a textbook to do its job, and I knew that my body knew what it was doing. I knew the baby was coming, and soon!

I told Denise, “No, I know the baby’s head is in the right position”. She gave a noncommittal answer, but I held on to this knowledge with all my might. I was in active labour, and the baby’s head was in the perfect place. I even felt excited to prove her wrong.

David and Allison had filled up the birth tub by this time, and I moved from the bedroom to the birth tub. Denise sat in the background observing.

Wow, what an amazing feeling entering the tub! The warm water enveloped me and I felt safe, relaxed, and the contractions were much more manageable. I leaned over the side of the tub, kneeling within it, with my legs wide apart. I labored for many hours switching between this position and lying on my side. The first couple contractions after a movement change were always more difficult to deal with, but then they would become more manageable again.

After an hour, Denise checked me again – no further progress, still 3-4cms. It didn’t bother me. Denise left with instructions to Daddy and Allison, that if Carol had any bloody show, if her contractions greatly intensified, or if her waters broke, to call her back.

I went back into the birth tub, and continued to labour. During the contractions I used visualization techniques. I imagined myself walking with my brand new stroller and my little baby to the park. This image gave me such joy that it made coping with contractions easy. Later when they became much more intense, I would picture waves crashing into the shore, and I would picture myself riding along just in front of them. As long as I started a contraction with controlled breathing; deep, slow rhythmic breathing with a low moan on the out breath, I found that I stayed ahead of the waves. When the contractions got to their worst point, I found that I had to start my controlled breathing before the contraction came.

My support people were paramount in helping me stay ahead of the contractions. It was their comfort techniques that made me able to deal with each contraction in a calm manner, and stay relaxed and open. Some contractions were managed by pouring water on my back continuously during them. Some were managed through back massage, or pressure on my back. Some were managed through hip squeezes. David and Allison worked very hard throughout the night, keeping me comfortable. It would have been much harder without them! Other techniques that were important was using the birth tub, the shower, and leaning over the birth ball on the bed. I didn’t deal with a single contraction lying down on my back, that would have been insane! The pain in that position is ratcheted up ten times!

One moment that is funny to us all now, came when I was handling a particularly bad contraction. The pain was so intense that I suddenly felt I was going to vomit. Allison was pushing on my back, and David was timing the contraction. I managed to say, “David get the bucket”. Unfortunately, the bucket was on the other side of Allison, and Allison, being the kind person that she is – lifted her hands from my back to pass the bucket to David. The already difficult contraction washed over me ten times harder. I screamed so loudly, Allison immediately knew what she had done wrong. I was laughing on the inside even then, and now we laugh about it together – “David, get the bucket!”.

I should mention, practically the whole time I was in labour, my eyes were closed. I think this was important, it shuts off your thinking brain, and all you can do is feel, so you learn more quickly how to manage the rushes. Also at one point, they asked me, where are you feeling the contractions? I said, “EVERYWHERE!”. It felt like my whole world was tightening and expanding.

After what seemed like forever in the birth tub, with not much change in anything other than a slow intensifying of the contractions, I became curious what was happening down there. I reached down between my legs and lightly touched. It felt mucousy! What was that? I asked Allison to see if she could see any show. She asked me to move the water around down there. Yes! She said, bloody show!

This was one of the triggers to call the midwife back. David paged the midwife and told them the news. The controller informed us that Denise had been called to a hospital birth, and couldn’t come attend. In fact, in a strange turn of events, none of the midwives that we had gotten to know at the clinic were available! A different midwife was coming. Her name was Sandra.

This was disconcerting but okay with me – Sandra was actually the midwife that we had first hoped to be assigned to, since she is from Argentina and David and I fell in love with South America during our travels through Peru.

It felt like only five minutes after we spoke with Sandra, that my contractions started changing. Suddenly, at the end of the contractions, I felt pushy. Not pushy like I had earlier, as in I think I need to go #2, but pushy as in, I need to push this baby out. The feeling scared me, because I knew that although Sandra was on her way she was going to be forty minutes coming! I also knew that they had a lot of equipment to bring up, so it was going to be awhile.

I said, call the paramedics! I don’t want to have this baby with no one attending! Allison was very reassuring at this point, telling me that that really wasn’t needed, that Sandra would be here soon, the paramedics could take just as long, so we might as well just wait for Sandra.   Although I knew the paramedics wouldn’t take as long, I felt reassured, and I did know on some level that pushing for a first time mom usually takes awhile, so it’s not like the baby was just going to fall out of me!

It was a nervous and exciting time, knowing that Sandra was on the way, and feeling the building urge to push. Some times I gave little pushes (when I couldn’t stop myself), and some times I panted through the contractions. The urge to push was not full force, so it was manageable.

Finally, Sandra arrived! She came in, apologized that we hadn’t met before and introduced herself. I’ll never forget her standing in the doorway of my room saying, “Hello, I’m Sandra, I’m sorry we haven’t met before.” I said, “That’s okay! Will you check me?” She put on gloves and immediately checked my dilation. Good news, she said, you are fully dilated! Yay I said, so I can push? Sandra said, yes! That was the best news ever!

Then she asked David to help her go to her car and collect her things. David and I looked at each other with apprehension. We did not want to be apart at this point! David recalls thinking the elevator was the slowest ever, it seemed to stop on every floor, and he was so anxious to get back to me. He even had to help someone move a desk into and out of the elevator, which made him want to yell at him and throw his desk out of the way! I was anxious for him, knowing that he would be worried about me.

When David returned, I was lying on my back on the bed with Allison supporting me, I remember I was half falling off the bed but I felt like I couldn’t fix myself, the contractions were too strong – it would hurt too much to shift.

Sandra suggested sitting on the toilet and seeing if I could pee. David sat on the bathtub next to me, worriedly looking into the toilet, afraid that the baby was going to pop out into the bowl! I said to him, “Don’t look! Don’t look!”. Anytime I saw him looking at me down there, I started to think about what was happening – and it gave me fear, which I knew wouldn’t help labour. So, I wanted to stay in my headspace and just go with the flow, not thinking, and being in the present. I asked Dave to kiss me, which helped me relax.

I moved back to the bed and lay on my back, and Allison supported one leg and David the other. I kept complaining that Daddy wasn’t giving my leg enough support, and it was because he didn’t have enough room on that side of the bed. He finally got a chair to sit beside the bed, and he spread his legs wide on the chair and relaxed to try and help me relax too.

The contractions up until this point, after the bathtub and before the pushing, were the most painful and intense. It was hard to control them, especially since I was being moved around a lot. Once the contractions fully changed into the urge to push, it was wonderful. Suddenly there were no more tightening sensations around my stomach (and it felt like, around my whole being) it was just the glorious urge to push that was so strong it was doing all of the work itself! I was very happy when I realized, the contractions were over, and they weren’t coming back, so pushing was a joy.

My husband became all fired up and excited at this point, and he had no fears, he knew baby was on it’s way! Yeah, we’re going to get this baby out!

I mentioned that I would like to go on my hands and knees, but Sandra said that I was okay as I was. I asked again a little while later, but was again told to stay how I was – I wish now that I had insisted and done what my instinct was telling me, but at the time I was vulnerable and gave control over to her, thinking she knows what is best. The truth is – I know what’s best for my body, and if I could do it over again, I would do what felt natural!

Sandra was telling me to push, and David was telling me to breath. I was getting confused at this point because in order to push as hard as Sandra wanted, I had to hold my breath, but David was afraid that kind of pushing would cause distress to the baby. I asked Sandra, can I hold my breath? She said yes, so David was okay with that, because he trusted her. During every push, when I could feel I was making progress Sandra would say “fantastic”, assuring me that I was. It felt great to hear her say that.

Whenever Sandra would turn her head to work on something or record notes, I would kiss Daddy. I knew that Ina May Gaskin had said, “Lovin’ got the baby in, and lovin’ will get the baby out”, so I was channeling all that hippy energy. Kissing David felt unbelievably good in between rushes. I even touched myself as I had also read Ina May say “No woman ever tore who touched herself”. It’s true!

Sandra was also using oil around my perineum to make sure I wouldn’t tear. The oil was ours – lavender oil that only one night before David had massaged my feet with. It had been sitting conveniently right behind Sandra – we think an angel must have put it there because in the moment we wouldn’t have been able to find it!

I pushed for only 45 minutes before we were finally at the point that the baby’s head was crowning and I thought – I can do this in two more pushes or just one, and I chose one. I pushed with all my might, and out came the head! Immediate relief! And then in the next moment – ugh, I can feel the body in me! I said loudly, “Get it out!” I strongly disliked the feeling of the baby’s body still in me, and when the little body slipped out it felt just like I was pooing a fish. The weirdest slippery sensation! Sandra pulled out the rest of the body, and laid the baby on my chest.

Oh, a little baby with a sweet little cry! It’s a girl, Daddy said! We knew right away that your name was Elena. We had chosen that name 2 years earlier if we ever had a baby girl. Daddy put his finger in your fist and you held on to his hand within 15 seconds of being born. Mommy rubbed your body to circulate your blood, as you were purple when you came out, but you were so clean already. We cuddled with you for a long time. Mommy asked Sandra not to cut the cord until it had stopped pulsing. It took awhile, but I think you got more blood that way – you never turned jaundice, and you never had any issues. I bent down to kiss your little mouth for your first kiss, and you sneezed in my mouth.

Sandra helped Mommy and baby begin breastfeeding, and Daddy watched in wonder. We all were amazed, exhausted, exhilarated, and ecstatic. I said to Sandra, “That was easy! I could do it again tomorrow!” Sandra said, “Maybe you better wait just one day”. I also said, “Thank you Sandra for your hard work”. She said, “Work? That was not hard work. Sometimes I have to work hard, but not with you”.

Mommy squeezed out the placenta a little while later, and one of the midwives examined it with us. She asked us if we wanted to see it, and we said – Yes! What is that thing that was in me, keeping this baby alive?? She pointed out different parts of it, explaining how it worked – what a wonderful thing, like a big huge organ of the body, suddenly outside you to see like science class.

The midwives said – now you must eat, what are you going to have? And suddenly, I became aware I was so hungry! I said, there’s a spinach and strawberry and blueberry salad in the fridge, I think I’ll have that. Allison my doula brought it to me, and I remember it tasted like the best food I’d ever had, it was so vibrant, like I’d been released from jail and it was my first meal out.

Then the midwives said I had to pee before they left. I sat on the toilet – nothing. Sandra said, if you don’t pee, I’m going to have to put a catheter in. Eek! I hated the idea of that – after going the whole birth with no interventions whatsoever the last thing I wanted was one postpartum! So I carefully got in the shower – I thought the sound of running water and feel of it might help me release. Still, no. I called David into the room. He didn’t know what Sandra had said, he had been with Elena, so I just asked him to kiss me. He leaned in and kissed me while I was in the shower, which finally released me enough to pee just a drop! Victory, no catheter.

I was so happy and so proud, I felt like all of my research and focus on positivity had paid off, in the most amazing experience of my life. More than anything, I thank a powerful personal God who cares enough that he would give me such an incredible experience. I have such a passion for natural birth now, and I feel such sadness for our society that has lost faith in the power of women’s bodies. Under the right circumstances, which I think are ideal at home, a woman can birth and have an amazing birth at that. We are powerful, and we can do it. Thank you Lord!