Consumers Supporting Midwifery Care

My husband and I were married two years ago, and we are in our late 30’s / early 40’s.  I have a beautiful 15-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and had been disappointed with the birth experience with her. I felt that there was too much intervention, I had received an epidural which slowed down the progression of the birth, so after pushing for three hours, forceps were used to deliver Zoë. My baby was whisked off to the nursery, and I saw her again only the next day.  I remember feeling awful the next day and thinking the stitches from the episiotomy were almost worse that the contractions! I was left with a somewhat negative impression of this experience which morphed into fear over the next few years of ‘having to go through all of that’ again if I wanted another child.

Here we are 15 years later, and becoming pregnant again was something that I had not really given much thought to until I met my husband.  When I did become pregnant, I knew that I wanted this birth to be different, and I harboured a lot of fear that related back to Zoë’s birth: Fear of pain, fear of losing control, fear of being embarrassed, etc.. We decided that, this time around, we would get the support we needed and that would allow us to prepare for the birth in a way that was reflective of our values and experiences.  A friend of mine at work had told me about their birth experience at home with a midwife. I have to say that this is not something I had ever considered before, given that I am such a risk-averse person. But their story was so touching, and it sounded very appealing to me to be able to birth safely in my own environment, with my husband by my side. They actually seemed to cherish the memory of their birth experience, which was in such contrast with my own experience with my daughter. So when I became pregnant, I immediately called the midwifery group as I knew that they were very much in demand. I was truly lucky to find a wonderful collective of midwives to work with, and they made me and my husband feel comfortable to address all the issues and questions we had. The point is that they made us feel like this birth was about US, not about following rules and procedures etc. I felt such relief that we found the midwives and that we could think about birth in a positive way instead of fearing it!

The decision to have a home birth happened a bit later in the pregnancy, with the support of our midwife. I attended the home birth information session, and the midwives explained to us how their training and experience allows them to manage emergencies, and their professionalism really impressed me. After getting to know our primary midwife over the course of several months and supported by a fantastic doula, we felt ready to plan a home birth! My pregnancy had gone smoothly (at least from a medical point of view, as I had nausea throughout the whole nine months 😉 ), and the baby was presenting the right way etc. We live 5 minutes from 2 major hospitals, and we felt confident that the midwives would make sure that we were safe and adequately prepared for the home birth.

On December 10 (the baby was expected later in the month), my appointment with the midwife revealed that I was 50% effaced and 1-2 cms dilated. I thought nothing of it, as one can walk around like this for weeks, apparently. But the next morning, I woke up to my water breaking around 6 am.  We called the midwife and the doula to let them know, and I think we were all under the impression that things would take a while to unfold, as is often the case after rupturing of the membranes. Or so I though! I had had some cramping since the water broke, but nothing worse than those prelabour contraction episodes that I had been having for weeks. However the contractions started picking up quickly shortly after 9am, and I had some pretty intense cramping which became active labour around 10 am.  It all happened very fast, and the surges were coming fast and furious: I was moaning and complaining pretty loudly by this time, walking around the house as I could only take the contractions standing up. My husband called the midwife back and suggested she come over asap. When she got to our house around 11am, she found that I was dilated 7-8 cms!!!  From then on things are pretty much a blur, and I laboured hard until around 12 pm when I slipped into a warm bath, which slowed things down a bit and gave me a short break. Our doula arrived in the meantime, and she and the midwife encouraged me to change positions a few times after that to help the baby rotate from right to left and to help him descend properly. It was really strange how I felt I was in my own world, disconnected from reality, and I remember whimpering to the midwife: I can’t do this! And she would answer: but you ARE doing it! It was like being in a thick fog, and my doula’s voice was the only thing guiding me through each contraction. I remember being comforted by the midwives and the doula being so incredibly calm: I figured everything had to be going smoothly, everyone kept complimenting me and encouraging me.  Things really picked up after the bath when I hit full transition, and we did some work on the birthing ball and then sat on the toilet for a while. That was pretty intense, I wasn’t sure how much more I could take, and then all of a sudden, as I was breathing through a contraction, I got this really strong urge to push. We all rushed back to the bed and I got on hands and knees:  7 minutes and just a few pushes later, Liam was born at 10 to 3pm. No tearing!

What an unbelievable experience! We were so happy to have him at home, the midwives and the doula are angels and I could never have done this without their unfaltering support and outstanding care.

Our baby Liam was very calm and awake, eyes wide open for about an hour, taking in the world around him, and we starting nursing an hour or so later. I couldn’t believe that I was up and walking on my own within the hour! Recuperating from the birth went so well, the midwives came to care for us at home for the first week or two, which is wonderful. I think that being able to birth at home helped me feel safe and secure, not at the mercy of the medical system, and it made a world of difference to me. Now when I see my friends who are pregnant, I am actually nostalgic about the very thing I had dreaded so much; but my birth experience turned out to be one of the most magical moments of our life!