I thought Elena was going to be a boy, and I thought she was going to be born before her due date. I was wrong on both counts!

At my 40th week midwife appointment, I was told for the third time in a row that the babie’s head had only partially lodged in my pelvis. Since for first time moms this normally happens a week to two weeks before birth, there was some concern that I would go overdue. My husband and I had been excited at the concept of a home birth from early on, and we knew that they wouldn’t deliver at home if we went to 42 weeks.

Dr. Wei gave me an hour of acupuncture therapy, using about 15 different needles in points of my body that up until now, all of the experts say to stay away from (as to not induce labour). Now, he was touching all those points! The treatment made me relax deeply and seemed to release a great deal of heavy energy around my body. After the treatment, I felt rested and refreshed, but was disappointed to not be immediately going into labour. Dr. Wei suggested that we book an appointment to come back again in a few days, and we did so.

Twenty four hours after the first treatment, I began to have contractions. They were mild and about every ten minutes apart. I continued to be active throughout the day, and at night I took a Tylenol and Gravol and went to bed. I was able to sleep through most of the contractions, and by morning they had subsided.

We went to the second appointment, and a slight variation on the same treatment occurred again. We also requested moxibustion as we had heard that to be effective for not only turning babies into the correct position but for starting labour. Moxibustion is a stick of very smelly herbs that they light and hold against your pinky toe as close as they can.

Again, I felt relaxed, but alas, no labour. Until! Twenty-four hours after this treatment, contractions began again. They were mild again, but slightly more consistent than they had been the first time. David and I went to church in the morning where we had a church BBQ. I had a few mild contractions throughout the BBQ.

It was such a beautiful day that I suggested we take a hike after church before returning to home. It was to be the last hike we would have as only two! David and I hiked the Stony Swamp trail. At first I suggested we only go partway then turn around, but the day was so beautiful and I was feeling so well that we continued the length of the trail, approximately three kilometers.

The sun was shining down, the trees were green, and the wildflowers were in full bloom. David helped time my contractions as we walked – they were coming more regularly now, approximately every fifteen minutes or so.

We returned home and had dinner. The mild contractions continued roughly every fifteen minutes. After speaking on the phone to Allison, our doula, and confirming that early labour of this sort can last days or weeks, we had the wise idea to press again on the acupressure points, the same points Dr. Wei had stimulated. He had marked my body with black marker dots on all the locations David was to apply pressure to. At about 10pm Sunday night, David pressed on all of my points. The results were instantaneous. Suddenly, the contractions that had been mild, were now much more difficult to deal with. I wondered, what had I done – starting it this late at night!

David went to bed, and I stayed awake, finishing an art project I had started for the baby – two pictures to be hung in their room, one of a squirrel and one of a scarlet tanager, using fake fur, felt, and feathers. Daddy drew the pictures in the background and Mommy made the felt animals.

Finally, I had finished. I laid down in bed to go to sleep. Ouch! The contractions were too difficult to deal with lying down in bed. I took a hot bath, and another Tylenol and Gravol. This time, they didn’t work. The contractions were coming roughly every ten minutes, and they were more intense than any had been before. I woke up Daddy to help me deal with them, and time them.

David timed the contractions with me and provided support. We stayed awake together dealing with them from about 1am to 4:30am. They intensified to about every seven or eight minutes apart. At about 4:30 in the morning, I laid down again, exhausted. Regretting my decisions to have such an active day including a hike, then asking for the acupressure points to be pushed, I thought I was going into labour exhausted, and I began to cry in despair.

As I was crying, suddenly the baby began to bounce in my tummy. The baby bounced up and down like they never had before! A violent, insane bouncing. After about fifteen seconds of this, baby stopped, and suddenly, the contractions were mild once more. I was so surprised, and grateful. Praise the Lord! I was able to sleep the rest of the night, only awaking now and then for a contraction, but able to sleep in between them. I suggested to David to go to work, as I would try to sleep all day, and if anything changed, I would call him.

Daddy was so anxious he called twice in the day to check on me, only to have me say, “I’m fine, I’m sleeping!”. I was having contractions about every ten minutes, but they were mild enough to sleep through, and I slept all day long until Daddy came home at 4pm. I remembered the TENS machine that the midwifery clinic had for rental, and I asked Daddy to bring that home with him. We had a big hearty supper together, and had our last evening alone. At about 7pm, the contractions started to bother me, so I put on the TENS machine. What a wonderful thing! It provided relief through an electric current that disrupted the sensation of the contractions to my brain.

I went to bed early, and used the TENS machine to help me continue to lie down through contractions that were intensifying. Daddy went to bed, thinking that he would have another day of work tomorrow. I didn’t think he would!

Sure enough, at about midnight, the contractions became too intense to deal with lying down, even with the TENS machine. I woke up Daddy to help me time them, and I went into a hot shower which felt wonderful. The water on my back gave great relief.

By about 1:30am, we had timed many contractions, and saw that although they were not always a minute long or the same timing apart, in general they seemed to average about five minutes apart. The midwives had said to call them when the contractions were five minutes apart, one minute long, and had been occurring for an hour.

We called Allison, our doula first. We told her what was happening, and she said she would be over in about twenty minutes. Then we paged the midwives. Our midwife Denise called us back, and spoke with me on the phone. I could tell by her questions that she was trying to draw out the conversation in order to hear me have a couple contractions. She suggested trying to take a warm bath to slow them down and try to get more sleep. She said that if that didn’t work, and the contractions intensified to every four minutes, to page her again.

Shortly after that, Allison came through the door. I apologized to Allison, telling her what the midwife had said, thinking that perhaps they could slow down, and I shouldn’t have dragged her out of bed. Sweet Allison said that it was okay, and that she should be there long before the midwives come anyway. David told me later that he believed that by calling Allison, we would spur labour on, and without her, it could have stopped.

David got a little nap when Allison arrived. Allison had some different pain relief methods for me – she suggested I get down in the tub, and Allison began pouring water over my back in the tub during contractions. She also turned off the light in the bathroom, leaving on the hall light only. She filled the room with the smell of peppermint when I said I felt nauseous, which immediately took away my nausea. The pouring water on my back felt so good, it went from being a 6/10 in pain to a 3/10. Allison continued to time contractions. After awhile of this, they did not stop, they only continued to intensify and come closer together. We paged the midwife again.

I remember saying during labour, “At the end of this, I’ll get a baby?” I would have been happy going through the experience without a baby at the end, weird as that sounds, it all just felt so natural, like nature had a purpose for it and I didn’t need to know what it was, so to get a baby out of it was just this insanely spectacular surprise!

Denise arrived at about 3:30am. She checked the baby and felt my stomach during a contraction. She asked me to lie on the bed so that she could check my progress. She put her fingers in me and felt like she was poking up into my body, ow! I held onto David’s hand tightly. She said that I was 3-4cms dilated, but she was having trouble feeling the baby’s head because I had a big bag of waters in the way. She said that because some of the contractions were making me feel a bit like I had to go poo, the baby’s head could be in the wrong position. She also said that I may or may not be in active labour.

I laughed and laughed on the inside when I heard that! I knew I was in active labour, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Just because my contractions were irregular, and some were doubling or tripling, (all signs of a possibly protracted and long labour, and the baby’s head being in the wrong position), none of it mattered to me. I knew that my body didn’t have to follow a textbook to do its job, and I knew that my body knew what it was doing. I knew the baby was coming, and soon!

I told Denise, “No, I know the baby’s head is in the right position”. She gave a noncommittal answer, but I held on to this knowledge with all my might. I was in active labour, and the baby’s head was in the perfect place. I even felt excited to prove her wrong.

David and Allison had filled up the birth tub by this time, and I moved from the bedroom to the birth tub. Denise sat in the background observing.

Wow, what an amazing feeling entering the tub! The warm water enveloped me and I felt safe, relaxed, and the contractions were much more manageable. I leaned over the side of the tub, kneeling within it, with my legs wide apart. I labored for many hours switching between this position and lying on my side. The first couple contractions after a movement change were always more difficult to deal with, but then they would become more manageable again.

After an hour, Denise checked me again – no further progress, still 3-4cms. It didn’t bother me. Denise left with instructions to Daddy and Allison, that if Carol had any bloody show, if her contractions greatly intensified, or if her waters broke, to call her back.

I went back into the birth tub, and continued to labour. During the contractions I used visualization techniques. I imagined myself walking with my brand new stroller and my little baby to the park. This image gave me such joy that it made coping with contractions easy. Later when they became much more intense, I would picture waves crashing into the shore, and I would picture myself riding along just in front of them. As long as I started a contraction with controlled breathing; deep, slow rhythmic breathing with a low moan on the out breath, I found that I stayed ahead of the waves. When the contractions got to their worst point, I found that I had to start my controlled breathing before the contraction came.

My support people were paramount in helping me stay ahead of the contractions. It was their comfort techniques that made me able to deal with each contraction in a calm manner, and stay relaxed and open. Some contractions were managed by pouring water on my back continuously during them. Some were managed through back massage, or pressure on my back. Some were managed through hip squeezes. David and Allison worked very hard throughout the night, keeping me comfortable. It would have been much harder without them! Other techniques that were important was using the birth tub, the shower, and leaning over the birth ball on the bed. I didn’t deal with a single contraction lying down on my back, that would have been insane! The pain in that position is ratcheted up ten times!

One moment that is funny to us all now, came when I was handling a particularly bad contraction. The pain was so intense that I suddenly felt I was going to vomit. Allison was pushing on my back, and David was timing the contraction. I managed to say, “David get the bucket”. Unfortunately, the bucket was on the other side of Allison, and Allison, being the kind person that she is – lifted her hands from my back to pass the bucket to David. The already difficult contraction washed over me ten times harder. I screamed so loudly, Allison immediately knew what she had done wrong. I was laughing on the inside even then, and now we laugh about it together – “David, get the bucket!”.

I should mention, practically the whole time I was in labour, my eyes were closed. I think this was important, it shuts off your thinking brain, and all you can do is feel, so you learn more quickly how to manage the rushes. Also at one point, they asked me, where are you feeling the contractions? I said, “EVERYWHERE!”. It felt like my whole world was tightening and expanding.

After what seemed like forever in the birth tub, with not much change in anything other than a slow intensifying of the contractions, I became curious what was happening down there. I reached down between my legs and lightly touched. It felt mucousy! What was that? I asked Allison to see if she could see any show. She asked me to move the water around down there. Yes! She said, bloody show!

This was one of the triggers to call the midwife back. David paged the midwife and told them the news. The controller informed us that Denise had been called to a hospital birth, and couldn’t come attend. In fact, in a strange turn of events, none of the midwives that we had gotten to know at the clinic were available! A different midwife was coming. Her name was Sandra.

This was disconcerting but okay with me – Sandra was actually the midwife that we had first hoped to be assigned to, since she is from Argentina and David and I fell in love with South America during our travels through Peru.

It felt like only five minutes after we spoke with Sandra, that my contractions started changing. Suddenly, at the end of the contractions, I felt pushy. Not pushy like I had earlier, as in I think I need to go #2, but pushy as in, I need to push this baby out. The feeling scared me, because I knew that although Sandra was on her way she was going to be forty minutes coming! I also knew that they had a lot of equipment to bring up, so it was going to be awhile.

I said, call the paramedics! I don’t want to have this baby with no one attending! Allison was very reassuring at this point, telling me that that really wasn’t needed, that Sandra would be here soon, the paramedics could take just as long, so we might as well just wait for Sandra.   Although I knew the paramedics wouldn’t take as long, I felt reassured, and I did know on some level that pushing for a first time mom usually takes awhile, so it’s not like the baby was just going to fall out of me!

It was a nervous and exciting time, knowing that Sandra was on the way, and feeling the building urge to push. Some times I gave little pushes (when I couldn’t stop myself), and some times I panted through the contractions. The urge to push was not full force, so it was manageable.

Finally, Sandra arrived! She came in, apologized that we hadn’t met before and introduced herself. I’ll never forget her standing in the doorway of my room saying, “Hello, I’m Sandra, I’m sorry we haven’t met before.” I said, “That’s okay! Will you check me?” She put on gloves and immediately checked my dilation. Good news, she said, you are fully dilated! Yay I said, so I can push? Sandra said, yes! That was the best news ever!

Then she asked David to help her go to her car and collect her things. David and I looked at each other with apprehension. We did not want to be apart at this point! David recalls thinking the elevator was the slowest ever, it seemed to stop on every floor, and he was so anxious to get back to me. He even had to help someone move a desk into and out of the elevator, which made him want to yell at him and throw his desk out of the way! I was anxious for him, knowing that he would be worried about me.

When David returned, I was lying on my back on the bed with Allison supporting me, I remember I was half falling off the bed but I felt like I couldn’t fix myself, the contractions were too strong – it would hurt too much to shift.

Sandra suggested sitting on the toilet and seeing if I could pee. David sat on the bathtub next to me, worriedly looking into the toilet, afraid that the baby was going to pop out into the bowl! I said to him, “Don’t look! Don’t look!”. Anytime I saw him looking at me down there, I started to think about what was happening – and it gave me fear, which I knew wouldn’t help labour. So, I wanted to stay in my headspace and just go with the flow, not thinking, and being in the present. I asked Dave to kiss me, which helped me relax.

I moved back to the bed and lay on my back, and Allison supported one leg and David the other. I kept complaining that Daddy wasn’t giving my leg enough support, and it was because he didn’t have enough room on that side of the bed. He finally got a chair to sit beside the bed, and he spread his legs wide on the chair and relaxed to try and help me relax too.

The contractions up until this point, after the bathtub and before the pushing, were the most painful and intense. It was hard to control them, especially since I was being moved around a lot. Once the contractions fully changed into the urge to push, it was wonderful. Suddenly there were no more tightening sensations around my stomach (and it felt like, around my whole being) it was just the glorious urge to push that was so strong it was doing all of the work itself! I was very happy when I realized, the contractions were over, and they weren’t coming back, so pushing was a joy.

My husband became all fired up and excited at this point, and he had no fears, he knew baby was on it’s way! Yeah, we’re going to get this baby out!

I mentioned that I would like to go on my hands and knees, but Sandra said that I was okay as I was. I asked again a little while later, but was again told to stay how I was – I wish now that I had insisted and done what my instinct was telling me, but at the time I was vulnerable and gave control over to her, thinking she knows what is best. The truth is – I know what’s best for my body, and if I could do it over again, I would do what felt natural!

Sandra was telling me to push, and David was telling me to breath. I was getting confused at this point because in order to push as hard as Sandra wanted, I had to hold my breath, but David was afraid that kind of pushing would cause distress to the baby. I asked Sandra, can I hold my breath? She said yes, so David was okay with that, because he trusted her. During every push, when I could feel I was making progress Sandra would say “fantastic”, assuring me that I was. It felt great to hear her say that.

Whenever Sandra would turn her head to work on something or record notes, I would kiss Daddy. I knew that Ina May Gaskin had said, “Lovin’ got the baby in, and lovin’ will get the baby out”, so I was channeling all that hippy energy. Kissing David felt unbelievably good in between rushes. I even touched myself as I had also read Ina May say “No woman ever tore who touched herself”. It’s true!

Sandra was also using oil around my perineum to make sure I wouldn’t tear. The oil was ours – lavender oil that only one night before David had massaged my feet with. It had been sitting conveniently right behind Sandra – we think an angel must have put it there because in the moment we wouldn’t have been able to find it!

I pushed for only 45 minutes before we were finally at the point that the baby’s head was crowning and I thought – I can do this in two more pushes or just one, and I chose one. I pushed with all my might, and out came the head! Immediate relief! And then in the next moment – ugh, I can feel the body in me! I said loudly, “Get it out!” I strongly disliked the feeling of the baby’s body still in me, and when the little body slipped out it felt just like I was pooing a fish. The weirdest slippery sensation! Sandra pulled out the rest of the body, and laid the baby on my chest.

Oh, a little baby with a sweet little cry! It’s a girl, Daddy said! We knew right away that your name was Elena. We had chosen that name 2 years earlier if we ever had a baby girl. Daddy put his finger in your fist and you held on to his hand within 15 seconds of being born. Mommy rubbed your body to circulate your blood, as you were purple when you came out, but you were so clean already. We cuddled with you for a long time. Mommy asked Sandra not to cut the cord until it had stopped pulsing. It took awhile, but I think you got more blood that way – you never turned jaundice, and you never had any issues. I bent down to kiss your little mouth for your first kiss, and you sneezed in my mouth.

Sandra helped Mommy and baby begin breastfeeding, and Daddy watched in wonder. We all were amazed, exhausted, exhilarated, and ecstatic. I said to Sandra, “That was easy! I could do it again tomorrow!” Sandra said, “Maybe you better wait just one day”. I also said, “Thank you Sandra for your hard work”. She said, “Work? That was not hard work. Sometimes I have to work hard, but not with you”.

Mommy squeezed out the placenta a little while later, and one of the midwives examined it with us. She asked us if we wanted to see it, and we said – Yes! What is that thing that was in me, keeping this baby alive?? She pointed out different parts of it, explaining how it worked – what a wonderful thing, like a big huge organ of the body, suddenly outside you to see like science class.

The midwives said – now you must eat, what are you going to have? And suddenly, I became aware I was so hungry! I said, there’s a spinach and strawberry and blueberry salad in the fridge, I think I’ll have that. Allison my doula brought it to me, and I remember it tasted like the best food I’d ever had, it was so vibrant, like I’d been released from jail and it was my first meal out.

Then the midwives said I had to pee before they left. I sat on the toilet – nothing. Sandra said, if you don’t pee, I’m going to have to put a catheter in. Eek! I hated the idea of that – after going the whole birth with no interventions whatsoever the last thing I wanted was one postpartum! So I carefully got in the shower – I thought the sound of running water and feel of it might help me release. Still, no. I called David into the room. He didn’t know what Sandra had said, he had been with Elena, so I just asked him to kiss me. He leaned in and kissed me while I was in the shower, which finally released me enough to pee just a drop! Victory, no catheter.

I was so happy and so proud, I felt like all of my research and focus on positivity had paid off, in the most amazing experience of my life. More than anything, I thank a powerful personal God who cares enough that he would give me such an incredible experience. I have such a passion for natural birth now, and I feel such sadness for our society that has lost faith in the power of women’s bodies. Under the right circumstances, which I think are ideal at home, a woman can birth and have an amazing birth at that. We are powerful, and we can do it. Thank you Lord!

It began like this…

Mama & Dada wanted a baby for two years, but had no success. On holiday in the Canary Islands with my Nana Suzanne, they were visiting with some of their favourite cousins. The sea air, Antonio’s paella, the volcanic views and the love of family provided the perfect backdrop for my conception.

Mama & Dada learned upon their return at the Ottawa Fertility Clinic that they were expelled from the clinic for having gotten pregnant all on their own! They were overjoyed & mama’s belly began to grow with me. And grow & grow…

My due date was for December 23rd – just in time for Christmas. But I decided to stay put for the holidays. Instead, I waited for the new decade & was born on Mama & Dada’s 4th anniversary – Epiphany: January 6, 2010.

I weighed 9lbs 8oz (4.4kg) and was a lean length of 22in (55cm).

Mama’s water broke on Monday January 4 2010 at around 6:15pm while she was reading in bed. She happily thought the “show” was finally getting on the road as the low menstrual-like cramps began. She also naively thought that if that’s what contractions were, labour would be bearable!! (Little did she know what I had in store for her!)

Midwives Claudia & Joanne confirmed around 9pm that mama was in the early stages of labour and got her into the bathtub to help keep her relaxed. At 4am Tuesday morning, Claudia & Joanne found her still in the tub (dada kept re-warming the water & she was very pickled!) but active labour was still far off.

Most of Tuesday was spent in far-apart contractions – in and out of sleep with dada close at hand. Midwives Tanya & Rachel advised visiting the hospital for an assessment. The car ride was a traumatic one and contractions came on more quickly. It was decided that mama should stay at the Montfort hospital and receive some oxytocin to speed up labour. She’d been experiencing contractions for 24 hours by that point and the midwives were concerned about her energy.

Once mama received the oxytocin, the contractions indeed became quicker and stronger than anything imaginable. But I still seemed content to stay put and mama was still going to be in for a long long labour. Tanya, Rachel, Nana Suzanne and dada were by mama’s side throughout the whole night.

Mama requested an epidural at about midnight to help with the excruciating pain. Almost instantly, she calmed down and was able to breathe through the contractions – and about 6 hours later began to push me out. The midwives encouraged every position, but what mama didn’t know was that I had turned and was not in a good position to come out.

At 10am on Wednesday January 6, mama was advised to deliver by Cesarean section, since I seemed in no rush to come out. Mama was transferred to the operating room and I was born at 12:47pm. Dada never left mama’s side and Nana Suzanne was also there throughout.

After a brief visit & lots of photos, Dada went with the third team of midwives – Amanda & Joanne – to oversee all of the tests. I passed with flying colours and was soon back with mama, dada & Nana.

It was a long long process with a very happy ending… ME!

I am a 29 year mother of a beautiful, baby boy born July 8, 2009. My husband and I had never considered midwives and home births until a friend of ours introduced us to the idea with her first pregnancy almost 5 years ago. She had a home birth with a midwife and doula and had nothing but praise for the experience and care providers.

When it came time for my husband and I to consider our birth plan, I knew I wanted a midwife, but I assumed I would deliver in the hospital. After doing lots of research and hearing about other home births through my midwife, my husband and I realized that it was the right choice for us. I worked for 7 years in research in a hospital setting, and I came to my own personal conclusion; hospitals are where you go when you are sick. I trusted in the hospital’s ability to heal and treat patients, but I couldn’t see myself being admitted into hospital with a low risk labour. When we told our family about our decision, they were rightfully concerned; eventually they came around once they learned the facts. I even convinced my mom to be my doula. When the big day arrived, starting at 2:20am, everything just seemed to progress as it should have. My mom was the first to arrive at 5:00am, followed by my midwife at 7:00am. My husband never left my side for more than 3 minutes(longest 3 minutes I can remember) because my mom was able run and get anything I or my midwife needed. I was free to move and rest in any position I felt comfortable; and when my contractions started to stall, the midwife had me climb the stairs a few times to start them back up again… it worked! At 3:27pm, my son was born; and the best part was that all I had to do was climb into my OWN bed and rest with baby. For the next week my midwife came to me to check on myself and baby; I didn’t have to go anywhere!In the end I would have to say that my home birth was a very positive experience. Although far from pain-free, I felt safe and comfortable in my own space. I have many friends that all had different birth experiences, some better than others; but it all comes down to making the right choice for yourself. Don’t let other people’s thoughts or opinions cloud your judgement on what it best for you and your baby.

* name changed for privacy

Our first baby was due April 25, 2004. I finished working April 8 and used the time off to rest every minute that my body desired, clean and nest and prepare everything for the arrival of this little one. As the due date approached I felt prepared and ready for the birth and eager for it to take place. The due date came and went. On Sunday, May 2, we went to a friend’s house for dinner and once home we used some pressure points that our doula had told us about and got ready for bed. Around 12:35 as we were ready for bed I noticed that my tummy was hardening and at that same time I was feeling a sensation so when I felt this sensation I asked my husband if my tummy was hardening at the same time and he confirmed that it was. After this had happened several times we decided to count the time in between just for the fun of it. In doing so we noticed that this was happening about every 7 minutes. I didn’t know if it was real or false labour. We went to bed. I had a hard time to fall asleep, still wondering if it was every 7 minutes and checking the clock when I had a contraction. We timed contractions on the palm pilot using a contraction timer program. I slept off and on through the night and around 8:30 I had to get up because I needed to be doing something to deal with the contractions. We spent the morning doing various things: I did the ironing, we tidied the house, finished packing the hospital bag, watched TV, relaxed and we watched coverage of the Liberal sponsorship scandal. I dealt with the contractions one by one. As evening approached I kept doing different things to cope with the contractions. By this time I was losing my mucous plug and we knew it was really labour. We called the midwife on call. Contractions were strong enough that I knew I could not sleep so I found ways to cope such as rocking, hanging over the birth ball, hot showers etc. I was amazed at my clearness of mind during labour. I could get things done as I laboured.

Around 1:20am contractions were strong and close together, like 3-5 minutes apart and when my husband realised it he said, “Oh boy, time to make some calls” It was kind of funny because I think at that point it became real to him too. So he called our doula and our midwife. Once the midwife arrived she watched me cope with a couple contractions and then said that either nothing was happening or I was the strong silent type so the only way she could tell what was going on was to examine me. She did an internal exam and said “You’re 9.” I couldn’t believe it! She said that at this point we had to leave for the hospital immediately and that if we waited she could not safely put me in a car to go there. She asked if we had considered a home birth and we said yes but that we would go with our original plan to go to the hospital. So we packed up our stuff and everyone loaded into their cars and followed us to the hospital. My husband was under strict orders to keep right in front of the midwife and to pull over immediately if my water broke or I felt like pushing. We arrived at the hospital room probably around 3:00am May 4. The room was dim with most of the lights off and quiet with the clock ticking and quiet talking only. I passed each contraction one by one.

I had my water broken around 6 or 7 am. I was afraid that it would cause a drastic increase in contraction frequency and intensity but it did not. Later in the morning I began to feel pressure and eventually felt like I could push. In the beginning I pushed sitting on the birth ball and as things got more serious I got into a kneeling position at the end of the birthing bed. I had a stack of pillows in front of me and rested on them between contractions. My husband and doula were on each side of the bed. When I felt a contraction coming I would rise up and push my arms against theirs, bearing down and pushing. Pushing was hard and seemed to take so long. I remember feeling like my face would be covered in broken blood vessels, such was the pressure. I remember asking if the baby was crowning because it seemed like I was making no progress. Eventually the mdiwfe had my husband come see the head and the second midwife took his place at my side. Then I knew we were getting closer. Once the baby’s head was out I didn’t really notice the shoulders coming out. Then the rest of her body seemed to fly out and behind it a wave of fluid and the most incredible sense of relief. I heard her cry, and I fell forward onto the stack of pillows and cried. They put our baby in front of me and I looked at her and counted her fingers and toes and looked and saw that she was a little girl and cried with joy.

I felt like I could do anything. I had just achieved a 34 hour labour drug and intervention free.

I am so grateful for the wonderful birth experience that I had and credit this largely to the care I received from the midwives at the Midwifery Collective of Ottawa.

*name changed by request

Terra’s birth

Pregnancy
I conceived in England and promptly was assigned a midwife. That’s the standard of care for all low risk women there. You are seen by your community midwife and, optionally, your family doctor. When you deliver, it is a hospital midwife who cares for you. My midwife was a bubbly redhead who was full of encouragement about my morning sickness not lasting for ever!

When my husband got a job in Ottawa, Canada, I decided that I was not sick so did not need the special medical attention of an obstetrician and would prefer a midwife. I emailed several places only to be told that they were full. It was the last place left, the Midwifery Collective of Ottawa that accepted me. “We have a UK trained midwife that would love to hear about the homeland,” they said.

What struck me about the midwife’s office as soon as I got there was that something different was going on in Canada than in England. I could tell by the posters on the wall that this was not the humdrum, average Jane way of going about prenatal care as it was in England Something else was going on, something very women-centered, family-centered: informed choice and natural were words of the day.

I liked Agnes Fitzgerald’s no nonsense, witty personality immediately. Before I got there, I had a vague thought in the back of my mind that I might like a home birth. My husband was a bit worried about the idea. Beyond safety issues, which he had, it was the mess that concerned him. As soon as he met her, he had the same reaction as me. This woman is a competent professional who will take good care of us during the birth (and maybe it won’t be so messy).

As my pregnancy progressed, I found her and our student midwife excelled at knowing which of my symptoms to worry over and which not to. Best of all, they took my concerns seriously. When I had heart palpitations, they checked my iron levels and then treated my anemia, not as a matter of course but because I had indications of anemia. When I was measuring small, they reassured me that as long as I felt like I was getting bigger and that the baby was moving around then I was almost certainly fine. Pregnant women aren’t like the model T motorcar, they come in all shapes and sizes.

Labour
At 37 weeks, the contractions started. These were not going to lead me to labour soon but were rather practice contractions, or preparatory contractions. Late pregnancy carried on in this way until 39.1 weeks when I called over the midwife at three in the morning. Real labour? No… Agnes, I’m sure, can still remember my husband’s special Spanish coffee that left her jittering the rest of that early morning. 39.3 weeks? Yes! I woke up in the morning, oozed my lumbering self out of bed and heard a trickle hit the floor.

My water had broken. I was stunned, confused. The liquid was pink, not a colour mentioned in the textbooks. Agnes came over to see how things were going and told me it was just a little blood from popping blood vessels in my cervix.

Contractions had started right away after my water broke, gently but unmistakably in my back. When Agnes came round, she chatted with me awhile and decided that I wasn’t quite ready for her yet and said she was heading for the office but to call when things got intense. As if that were some kind of suggestion, as soon as she left, they became more difficult. I leaned against the railing and let my husband rub my back. After a short while, this wasn’t cutting it anymore so I called Agnes (who was really just down the street having a coffee not all the way back at her office). She suggested the bath but the contractions were coming hard into my back and the bath just wasn’t deep enough to make any difference.

When she got there, she had another ‘remedy’: sterile water injections. This baby was clearly posterior (back of her/his head against my spine) and for optimal birth, we needed to turn him or her. Not only would the water injections in my lower back take away some of the pain, she said it often turned the baby. “They hurt like a bee sting.” I got to say, I didn’t complain. Immediately, the pain in my back disappeared. I hopped up, as much as 9 months pregnant woman can hop up, and sat on my birth ball. I had three glorious contractions that rose in intensity nearly pushing me over but each time I could ride their waves. Then the back pain returned. Not fair, I thought.

She looked at me. “Something’s changed.”

With the next contraction, I had the urge to push. The second midwife arrived. I asked if she needed to check to make sure that I was fully dilated and she smiled and said no.

As I pushed, I could feel my baby’s head slide down into my vagina. Felt the baby’s head as it started to appear at the perineum. Lots of hair. I had no ‘ring of fire’ but some serious back ache as the baby twisted inside of me to make its way out. Then in one fluid motion, the baby’s head followed by one shoulder, the next, and the rest of its body, slipped out the right way round. I don’t know if it was the sterile water injections but the baby had turned to the anterior position.

She was here! Terra. All 8 pounds, 2 ounces, 21 inches. Chubby like an older baby. I had only gained 21 pounds, measured at the most 36 cms but you would have never guessed it looking at the size and health of the baby.

The placenta came five minutes later with one squatting push. The house was as clean as a whistle with barely any blood loss.

We all settled down for tea.

Someone said, “Looks like she has red hair.” Impossible, I thought, must just be the light in here. My husband and I have dark hair. But to this day, her hair is a rich, light auburn. We’ll say it’s in honor of our first midwife who led us to this wonderful homebirth.
Luna’s birth

Pregnancy:
Immediately, I called Agnes. I came in around 10 weeks for my first appointment and we tried to pinpoint my due date. This second baby was a ‘surprise’ though not unwelcome. Curiously, I was due approximately 2 days after my first daughter’s birthday. We laughed about the possibility of having them on the same day. What would be the odds?

Other than morning sickness again, the first part of my pregnancy was uneventful then a list of little problems came up. I developed an inguinal hernia. I was faint again and had heart palpitations. Our student midwife ordered a blood screen. It came back with a surprise. I had B12 deficiency which was underlying my iron deficiency. Immediately, I was put on supplements. And almost immediately, I started to feel better. This time, it was even harder to gain weight. By the end of my pregnancy, I had barely managed to put on 18 pounds, but I was not worried about the baby’s health.

37 weeks passed with lots and lots of practice contractions but no baby. 38 weeks passed with days where contractions were every 20 minutes but not progressing. 39 weeks passed with a couple of days where I had moderate contractions every 5-10 minutes. Agnes kept predicting that it would be any day now. Our student midwife, Corey asked if there was any reason that I might want this baby to stay in a little longer. I said that it would be really convenient if the baby stayed in until Monday as my husband would have most of his work tasks completed and could be more of a help with my toddler.

Though our daughter’s birthday was on the Monday, we decided to have a party on the Sunday. It was a nice evening with a few friends, and her favourite chocolate cake. That night, my husband and I said that ‘now the baby can be born’.

Birth:
At 3 am, the real contractions started. By 10 am, I knew that this was going to lead to a baby today. It was my daughter’s second birthday. I sent her off to a friend’s house.

At first, the contractions were moderate, more intense and less gradual than with Terra but still easy to cope with. I rocked on the birth ball then got up, tidied some toys, or did some dishes. The student midwife came by at around 11 am. By now, I had gotten into the bath which I found much more helpful in this labour than with Terra. I asked her to check my dilation. She said that I was 6 cm. Yippee, I thought. I had pain in my back again but I figured that it wouldn’t be long now. By noon, I had the urge to push. I got out of the bath and went downstairs where I intended on giving birth. After one push, my water exploded on the blue pads placed under me but that was it. The urge disappeared.

The other midwives had arrived. The urge returned, disappeared, returned. Cory checked me again, I was still only 7 or 8 cms, something was holding this labour up.

“The baby’s head is transverse (sideways across the pelvis) and deflexed (not tucked under).”

They suggested walking up the stairs, changing position. I looked at them like they were crazy. The contractions were much harder now and what I was doing was helping me cope. I did not want to change that but I tried some different positions anyhow. Then Cory suggested the sterile water injections again. Since it seemed to work to turn Terra, I agreed.

They pain disappeared… for one whole contraction. I don’t know why it did not work but instead I just lay on the air mattress we set up and tried a new coping mechanism. Before, I had always used movement to flow with the intensity of the contractions. This time, I sank deep into my mind. In fact, the midwives did not know I was even having contractions I was so still.

Finally!! I had the urge again. This time it was not going away. The baby came. First a head, hanging in space for a few seconds then the body in one push. Another girl! She had a mess of dark hair, was smaller than her sister by a whole pound but just as pink and healthy.

When Terra came home, I told her that she had a birthday present: a baby sister. My two girls were born 2 years and 3 hours apart.

Thanks to all the midwives that were part of my care at the Midwifery Collective of Ottawa!

Reilly was born at home with the help of midwives and our doula on June 27th 2005. My first son Liam was born in hospital via cesarean section. I had planned a drug free birth with Liam and due to a detached placenta I had to have an emergency cesarean. I was put to sleep, missed the birth of my baby and we were separated for several hours after birth. Shortly after Liam’s birth I had decided that if I had another baby I did not want this experience a second time. I did lots and lots of research and preparation in order to have a VBAC and also decided that I wanted to have my baby at home.

I had a very restless night of sleep and had woken up many times to use the washroom. In the middle of the night I got up and tried to sleep in the living room, first on the sofa and then on the floor. I would sleep a few minutes here and there but was so uncomfortable that was all I could do. My back was so sore that the only good position for me was child’s pose. I kept going up and down stairs trying to use the washroom and couldn’t go.

I woke up my husband at 4:30 and told him that I thought that something was starting, but that I felt constipated – it was either that or the cheesecake that I had for dessert the night before. Finally when my bowels emptied I realized that I was in early labour.

I decided to have a hot aromatherapy pack to try and relax and maybe get some sleep as I knew that I would have a long day ahead of me. Around 5:30 am I called my doula, Annik, so that she could prepare her day, as well I called my mom who would be taking Liam for the day. I had some breakfast and some tea; I pulled out my yoga mat and did some meditation to help get me centered for what lay ahead. I had been practicing hypnobirthing through my pregnancy so I also listened to my CD.

My mom and doula both arrived around 7:30. Liam was awake and was really quiet and just wanted to sit with me; he could tell that something was up. I gave him lots of kisses and off he went with grandma.

Annik and I spend some time talking about how I was feeling and how it seemed as if things were slowing down. Bill reminded me that I should call the midwives’ office and tell them that labour was starting. My midwife Sarah called back and we confirmed that there were enough midwives and that I was still able to have a home birth, I began to cry, mostly from relief as I did not want to go to the hospital.

Bill, Annik and I decided to go for a walk to help bring on stronger contractions and have a chance to talk. Sure enough the walking helped and I was feeling good when we got home. I decided to make a fruit salad for later for us and the birthing team. Annik and I went for another walk while Bill took a nap. I was worried that I had called Annik too soon and was worried that I was wasting her time – she assured me that was not the case and that was what she was here for. I know as a doula myself that labour can be a long process but it is nice just to know that your support person is there for you reminding you that what you are going through is normal.

We got back to the house and Bill was up from his nap. I wandered around and decided that it might be good for Bill and me to take a walk together and have some alone time. It was getting really hot outside and all my contractions seemed to happen in direct sunlight and never under the shade of a tree. We got back from our walk and spent some time in our garden talking. I was starting to get tired so we decided it would be a good idea for me to take a nap. I slept for about 2 hours and was feeling much better physically and emotionally. It was too hot to spend any more time outside so I paced around our house and did some cleaning. It seemed whenever I sat down on the birth ball my contractions would slow down so I had to keep walking and standing.

I called Sarah again around 5:30 and told her how I was progressing and that it seemed as if I was in active labour, but I wasn’t sure. She said she was close by and would stop by and see me just in case. She came in and observed how I was doing, checked the baby’s heart rate and my vitals. I had several contractions in the living room. Bill was amazing, I would hold onto the door frame for each contraction and he would pull the rebozo giving me a great hip squeeze and rub my back.

I went upstairs to use the washroom and the contractions got stronger. Annik came upstairs and suggested I try the bathtub – this felt great! I would get on all fours during a contraction and would lay on my side in between while she and Bill poured water on my belly and kept a cold cloth on my forehead. I was using homeopathy for nausea and it was really helping.

Sarah came in and asked if she could check me. It would be the first and last vaginal exam though my entire pregnancy. She said I wouldn’t have to move and to tell her when my contraction was over, she checked me and I was 9 cm, almost 10. Sarah later told me that she was only expecting me to be 5 or 6. She hurried out to get her stuff.

I was really moaning and grunting now. I kept thinking to myself an open mouth is an open cervix, so I kept vocalizing and it was really working for me. I got out of the tub and went into the bedroom. I got on all fours on the bed and felt like pushing. Bill kept putting pressure on my sacrum.

Shortly after there was a loud burst and my water broke with a big splash. It was such a relief. I continued pushing with each contraction but there was little progress. Sarah kept checking the heart rate as I was a VBAC we had to be extra careful. The heart rate wasn’t recovering after contraction so Sarah suggested I try the birthing stool. That sucked for me so we got back on the bed and I tried on all fours again, then my left side and finally my right. Not much was changing, I recall Sarah saying that because of the heart rate she was calling an ambulance and that, I would have to go to the hospital and have a cesarean – she was so calm about it so I did not panic. So I said ok and kept pushing with contractions. In my head I was thinking there is no way I am having another cesarean especially after having such a great day, so just watch me!!! I pushed with every ounce of my being. Just as the paramedics were coming up the stairs Sarah said she saw the head, and told the paramedics that she didn’t need them. They asked if they could stay, Bill asked me and we said ok. Out Reilly came, I felt his head and then his shoulders and man was it fast. I heard Bill say, “it’s a boy, we have another boy!” I was so happy!

The paramedics congratulated us and said that dispatch congratulated us as well. They had never seen a homebirth before and were happy that they had stayed and thanked us for letting them.

Sandra, the second midwife, was also there and helped Sarah do all the postpartum stuff. Reilly nursed a little but it was hard to do on my back. I took a nice warm shower and Reilly and I climbed into our fresh bed together and nursing was even better the second time. We all had some fruit salad and Bill got into the bed with us and we fell in love with our new baby even more. We were so happy and felt so lucky to be at home with our now bigger family right from the start.

I can’t believe it. She is finally here. Nisha-Rain Mieka Pearl arrived on May 6th, 2004 at 1:45 am. Labour was something else, though mom said I made it look easy. It was hard and painful, but I did it! No drugs, in the water, and I got to catch her. It was perfect and just how I wanted it.

The midwives had it marked down as 37 weeks and one day. I had promised my midwife I would make it to this point because before then they recommend a hospital birth. That was the last thing I wanted.

My water broke on Wednesday shortly after my new bed arrived. I was half done dreading my hair, just like my brother’s girlfriend said I would be. I was starting to get a headache from pulling so much on my hair, so I decided I would eat a snack, and then try out my new bed. I was so thankful afterward we thought to put a shower curtain under the mattress cover.

I was lying down for about ten minutes when POP! I knew exactly what it was right away, rolled off my bed and crashed on the floor right on my butt!
That’s when it gushed. I yelled to my step dad “I think my water just broke.”
He came in quickly and said “Are you sure?” Of course I was sure. He went and got my midwife’s pager number and called right away. I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there in the bathroom completely dumbfounded, and shaking. I was still standing there when my midwife called back. I said “Um hi, my water just broke.” She was very calm and asked some questions like “What colour is the water?” These were all questions I didn’t know the answer to, because I was still standing there in shock.

She directed me with what to do, though I can’t remember much of our conversation. When I got off the phone with her, my step dad and I started preparing for labour. We brought a mattress up from downstairs and laid it on the living room floor. After we had gotten some things together, we called mom at work to let her know what had happened. We knew she would be frantic and that’s why we waited to call her.

I had planned a water birth but we didn’t have the birthing tub with us yet.
We had to track it down first, and then mom went to pick it up. I tried to nap while she was gone but I was so excited I couldn’t sleep at all. I felt so good though. I was so happy and my headache had vanished almost immediately after my water broke. I was doing awesome and just wanted to tell everyone what had happened. So I ate some supper and decided to call around to some friends and family.

After awhile I was getting to the point when I couldn’t talk through contractions. I had asked everyone present to keep track of the intervals, but not say anything to me about it. I really didn’t want to know how far apart my contractions were. I wanted labour to progress as it would naturally and just let my body do what it needed to.

My midwife and a student (whom I hadn’t yet met) came out to check where I was at in labour. I was 100% enfaced and already starting to dilate. The midwife offered to do a massage on the cervix to help it dilate quicker but I told her not to, because I wanted it to progress on its own. I figured the baby would come when she was ready.

After the midwife left, I rested on the mattress in the living room for a while. I remember trying to say something and had to stop due to a contraction. It was very intense but not so much painful. I got another contraction shortly after that and decided it was time to call the midwife again. My step dad took care of that while I sat on the toilet with my mother beside me, helping me through more contractions.

Finally I got up. I wanted to wear this nice white tank top with flowers on the bottom, but I didn’t know where it was. It was driving me nuts trying to find it because of course it would go missing right when I wanted it. I ran downstairs to check one last time between contractions, but I ended up getting another on the way back up the stairs.

Mom went and got one of her shirts while I waited by the tub. I was leaning over the kitchen counter with my head down resting on my hands. I stopped breathing briefly through this contraction because the counter smelled like pepper and I didn’t want to sneeze when I was in so much pain. Mom came out with a plain white t-shirt and I quickly stripped down to nothing and put it on. I got in the tub and the second I did I felt about 20 times better.

I got on my hands and knees through contractions and rocked back and forth.
I felt like a mother hippo birthing in the wild. My face was half in the water and as I would rock back and forth my face would create a wave to the edge of the tub. I felt like I was in a complete meditative state. Complete relaxation! I wanted to stay like that forever but the tub was really hot and when the midwife arrived with the student she asked me to get out of the water to cool down and also so she could check me.

She had checked my temperature while I was in the water and she wanted to check it again before I got back in. I went to the washroom and immediately went back out into the kitchen and got in the tub before the midwife could check me. I already knew I was cooled down enough.

I got on my hands and knees for a long time and I knew I should change positions for a bit but I loved being like that so much. Eventually the midwife suggested that I go on my side for a while. I did that and I rested my head on a water-jug so I could fall asleep between contractions. The water-jug was making me really angry when I was in transition because it would never just be how I needed it. A couple of times I breathed in some water and that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. It got to the point where it was really uncomfortable to move at all during a contraction and that was right around the time I felt like pushing.

I was still lying on my side when I started getting the urge. I was scared because I had read so many times about women who had to “wait” to push. I told my midwife right away and she told me it was okay and when I felt like pushing just push. Everything was very relaxed and it really helped me to hear her calm voice to help me through.

The midwife suggested that I go back on my hands and knees. I felt it was such a relief to hear that and immediately switched positions. I was so thankful for her to say that because if no one had said anything I probably would have just stayed how I was.

The pain was so intense now with each contraction that I couldn’t control if I was to push or not. I gave a few strong pushes and right when I wanted it all to end the midwife said she could feel the baby’s head and I could touch it if I wanted. I reached down, but I was confused I didn’t know which the head was. I finally figured out that the soft wrinkly thing was the top of the baby’s head. It totally overwhelmed me to feel this and I just couldn’t wait to see my baby’s face. I only gave about two more pushes before I felt a pop. I couldn’t believe it. Her head was out! It felt like it took forever to get to that stage.

The midwife delivered the head, then she got me to sit back and I delivered the baby’s body. I was so shocked and didn’t know what was happening. When I first caught her I started saying “my baby, my baby, my baby!” I couldn’t stop saying it. Somebody told me it was okay and to relax.

I held my new baby girl for a bit but not nearly as long as I would have liked. Because the umbilical cord was only about 15” long and I could only concentrate on one thing at a time, either keeping her head above water or not pulling the cord, we had to cut the cord.

I sat in the tub for a bit but I’m not sure for how long. It wasn’t as long as I would have liked. When I got out I handed the baby off to someone so they could take her to be cleaned, and checked over.

Nisha was cold so she had a heating pad under her. We tried nursing but I was so burnt out and had no clue what I was doing. We all gathered around and just stared at her. It was amazing. After all this time of wondering and now, here she was!

We had had a couple of false alarms… the most recent on the Sunday before with 6 hours of contractions 5 minutes apart that ultimately just stopped. On the Monday (Sept 29, our due date) I went into the midwife’s office and the pretty much painless 6 hours had gotten us nearly completely effaced, so we were pretty sure it would be soon. The pressure was on because my mother had already spent 9 days of her 2 weeks with us, and we all really wanted her to be here for the birth.

Tuesday night (1 day “past due”), around 9:10pm, we were sitting watching “Bowling for Columbine” of all things, and I felt an almost audible “pop” inside. After my mother’s precipitous labours (she delivered my brother in 12 contractions, me in 6, my sister in 5), we figured we’d better call the midwife even though I hadn’t had any contractions yet to speak of. Got up to discover I was leaking waters, although it was the “constant trickle” effect rather than the “mad gush gotta get the carpets steam cleaned now” kind of water breaking.

By the time I got our student midwife on the phone about 10 minutes later, contractions were starting… not too bad, definitely more intense than they had been on Sunday, but not painful, just, well, unavoidable, and I was having to concentrate and breathe through them. The midwives were to arrive around 10pm and just before 10:00 I decided to go upstairs and wait for them… not only can you not hear the doorbell from our basement TV room, but the TV noise was beginning to drive me crazy.

The midwives arrived as contractions were beginning to feel quite serious. I went upstairs to our bedroom and called my best friend Shawna to let her know that she might want to come on over, and we were planning to have her at the birth, too. Cristine (our MW student) checked my dilation shortly after, and said we were at 2cm… that this wasn’t technically “active labour”… But by the time she told me this I’m pretty sure I was well into the active phase. She had checked me and then conferred with Anne Marie (our certified MW), then came to talk to me about what I’d like to do next. I think they were hoping I’d tell them to go home, but I could feel that things were moving pretty fast and told her I was scared to for them to leave in case they didn’t make it back in time. She told me they wouldn’t desert me, not to worry about it. She offered to do a “stretch & sweep” but I used the excuse of another contraction to not answer the question, I really didn’t want to be interfered with, but at the time was still worrying a bit about wasting other peoples’ time. I got over that very quickly.

That’s the last thing I remember really clearly, after that it’s just snippets. I remember Shawna arriving, and I remember spending most of my labour sitting backward on the toilet (leaning on the tank) with Stephen on one side of me and my mum on the other. I was singing vocal exercises through each contraction – the control it gave me over my breath was fabulous. (My singing teacher was very pleased!) Stephen figured out very quickly to take my robe off me during a contraction, and to put it back on, and a hot pack too, as soon as the contraction was over because I was shivering uncontrollably between contractions. I got in the shower briefly (for about 2 contractions) but I was so cold between contractions that I couldn’t stand to be wet so I got out. For a while I worked on hands & knees on our bed, and it’s around this time that they checked me again and were surprised to find I had hit 5cm. I’m kind of amused that they didn’t expect me to go so fast – although apparently this is very common for hypnobirths; practitioners who haven’t worked with hypnomamas before don’t realize how far along we are because we’re so calm. I remember Shawna coming into the room around then and I was actually lucid enough to speak to her… “I hope you’re not terribly bored” I said. I kept thinking that this must seem so long to everybody else! She told me I was crazy, that she’d never been so excited in her life. I love that woman. ? Shortly after that I was back on the toilet – it was a good place for me because of the constant fluid leak and I found it took all the pressure off my “working parts” and let me really relax with each out-breath. I found I needed to rock my hips a lot, and that really helped too. I remember thinking I must be hitting transition… I had to do a lot of “thought stopping” and kept saying out loud “one at a time, just this one” and “I can do this” over and over again. My family didn’t realize that what was going on was that I was fighting with myself – I’d catch myself wondering how much longer I could do this – which is when I started chanting “just this one,” or I’d find myself doubting that I could handle any more – “I can do this.” Cristine checked me again around this time, and although I didn’t hear her say it at the time, I had only a lip of cervix left. My hindwaters were still intact, and she told me that the baby just needed to turn slightly and that we could help that by breaking the waters, so although I had not intended to have my waters broken artificially it seemed like the right thing to do. The contraction that I went through lying on my back waiting for Cristine to break my waters made me understand why women find labour so painful. It was the only truly “painful” contraction I had – the rest of them were incredibly intense and overwhelming, but pain is the wrong word for them. Pain describes a broken bone or the surgery I had on my shoulder, but doesn’t *really* define what I was going through – except for that one 3-peaked contraction I went through lying flat on my back. Man oh man that one was brutal and I was really glad to get upright again! It was back to the toilet with me to let the waters drain a bit, and I had about 3 or 4 more 3-peaked contractions and started feeling a little bit “pushy.” Cristine suggested I go back to all fours on the bed, and that did the trick – as soon as I was in that position there was nothing I could do except let my body do its work. I really feel like I was a bystander in the pushing stage, all I could do was keep supplying oxygen to my muscles and try not to interfere.

The baby crowned in 18 minutes and was out in 20. No tears at all (although for some reason I wasn’t expecting the “ring of fire” around the FRONT, somehow I thought that it would only be my perineum that felt that! Silly me), just a small scrape where he had his hand up next to his face (yup, I pushed out a hand along with the head). I reached down to touch his head as he was crowning and was so amazed to find that it was pointy – I mean, we all know that the head moulds but I think I didn’t really understand until that moment how perfectly engineered this whole process is. I gave everybody a good laugh though, they told me to stop pushing as he crowned and I said “he won’t go back?”… They all laughed and Anne Marie said no you can’t put him back. I couldn’t explain at the time that that’s not what I meant, I was just damned if I was going to lose ground and let him slip back upward again – I was fully prepared to hold him there!!! But anyway the next push came and his head was out. The cord was loosely around his neck, and I was laughing while the rest of his body was born through the loop – I’ve never felt such a physical “relief” in my life, it was incredible! The four seconds that it took for them to pass him to me was an eternity. And I was so thrilled to have him in my hands that Stephen had to ask me to check the gender (the cord was between his legs). I cut the cord myself and set him free. He was born at 5:48am.

Shawna and Anne Marie had started a batch of muffins and some coffee as I started pushing, thinking it would be awhile… Shawna says she had just got them into the oven when she heard her name called in a “serious” kind of way, and she got sent to warm blankets in the dryer.

Forty-five minutes later there were six of us on our bed eating hot apple-cinnamon muffins.

Our baby boy stayed nameless for about 4 days… somehow it just didn’t seem very important. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

It was Valentine’s Day morning and I was seven days past my due date. I could hear my husband showering and getting ready for work as I leisurely woke up at about 7:15. Suddenly, I felt the baby inside me “jump”. It was a strange feeling that I hadn’t experienced before. It bothered me, so I got up, and soon after noticed a leaking of fluid. It wasn’t a gush or even a steady leak, but every once in awhile I’d have a leak of this yellow fluid, and I figured that at least part of my bag of waters had broken.

I paged my midwife right away to let her know. I had an appointment for a stretch and sweep scheduled for 10am, but there was a raging snowstorm outside, and although I was having contractions that were more or less regular, they were not painful and there was nothing to distinguish them from the Braxton-Hicks contractions I had been having every night for a week. Still, my midwife agreed to stop by the clinic, then drive out to our house to check and see if my water had broken. Because I was GBS positive, a prolonged rupture of membranes was something we would have to keep an eye on.

 Well, by 8:00am I could say I was definitely in labor because the contractions were starting to hurt. The midwife, Becca, called to say she was on her way, but stuck behind a snow plow. I told her to keep on coming because this baby was on the way!

She arrived at around 9:30 or 10:00 and by now I was definitely in active labor. She checked me and announced me at 5 cm. My husband and I had to decide whether or not to go ahead with the GBS antibiotics, and since I was only 5 cm we decided to go ahead and give me a dose. I climbed into our whirlpool tub of hot water and struggled to cope with my contractions while having an IV threaded into my hand. The whole idea of having the antibiotics and the IV was stressing me out because I am one of those people who gets very anxious around doctors and who does not like the idea of drugs coursing through my veins that could elicit some deadly allergic reaction. Honestly, the day I got the Hepatitis B vaccine (they put it in you cold from the refrigerator), I could feel the cold stuff infiltrating my whole body– it ruined my day. Anyway, my veins are bad, and the midwife blew out two of them in my hand before getting the butterfly needle in me and successfully transferring the medicine. I felt panicky and freakish and still worried about a potential allergic reaction. But my midwife said the magic words: if you were going to have a bad reaction we would have seen it by now. Good enough for me. I focused back on my labor.

Shortly after, probably at about 11:00am I started having the urge to push. The second midwife had not made it to our house yet (second midwife didn’t make it in time for my first daughter’s birth either), but there was nothing I could do. The pushes were overwhelming and I tried to just let my body do the work. My mom was downstairs with my older daughter, Kira, and thank goodness, because I was very noisy. I found pushing this baby out more difficult than my first, whether it was her positioning or the fact that she was over a pound heavier. As I struggled with my pushing contractions, I reminded myself that it would be over soon, and thought about all of the political prisoners in third world prisons who were surviving much worse (no kidding, that is exactly what I thought!). I told myself, I can do this! I can do this!

I pushed out the head in the next couple of contractions and reached down to catch the rest of my baby as he/she came out, but the baby didn’t come out right away. I also saw meconium come out as the rest of the head emerged, and I looked at Becca with worry. It was obvious that the baby was stressed. She told me she needed me to push the baby out, and I tried to push, but without a contraction it’s like somebody telling you they need you to poop, but you don’t have to go. I just didn’t have anything to push against. But I pushed anyway, as hard as I could, and Becca jumped in the tub with me. Finally, 2 minutes later, I got a contraction and pushed as hard as I could for my baby. Becca puts this big, blue baby on my chest and says, “Rub the baby”.

Oh my gosh, I have never been so scared. My husband was shellshocked, too. The baby’s eyes were closed and it was blue, blue, blue and not breathing. I rubbed the baby and said, “breathe, baby, please, wake up and breathe!” Becca quickly clamped and cut the cord, jumped out of the tub and took the baby around the corner to where her equipment was set up. I heard the suction machine start, and grabbed my husband’s hands and began praying that our baby would be okay. Even as I prayed, I had a sense of comfort that everything would be okay.

Mark went into the room to see what was happening and started giving me the thumbs up. We heard a hiccuppy crying, which didn’t sound all that great to me– not big and lusty like I was hoping to hear, but Becca said, “Can you hear that?” and I knew that the baby was going to be okay. I said to Mark, “Is it a boy or a girl?” I guess Becca pulled back the towels at the point so he could have a look, and he said, “It’s another girl!” I was astonished! We had another little daughter! And all this time we had assumed a boy.

Mark helped me out of the tub and got me settled to where I could deliver the placenta, then climb into my bathrobe and bed. Becca helped me with the placenta and handed me my beautiful new daughter to tuck under my bathrobe. She had pinked up immediately with some suctioning and a little oxygen blown in front of her nose. She was just perfect.

It took a little while for Mark and me to get over the scare of seeing our baby born like that. Becca explained that there had been a bit of a shoulder dystocia where the shoulder was stuck on my pelvic bone, and she had had to fold the baby’s shoulder down to get her through. It was definitely scary for everyone, but Becca had handled everything so well and knew just what to do. Shortly after, the second midwife and her student arrived and helped clean up and get us all settled. Then my mom brought in Kira to meet her new little sister!

Kira crawled into bed with me while the student was doing Ocean’s newborn exam. I said, “Kira, do you remember the baby in Mommy’s belly?” Kira pulled aside my bathrobe to look at my belly and saw that it was gone. “See, the belly is gone,” I said, “and there’s the baby! That’s your baby sister!” Kira looked back and forth from my belly to the baby. It was so cool to watch the recognition!

So that was our adventure birthing Ocean Alexandra Swift. I had her at 11:18am (give or take 2 minutes) on Valentines Day morning, and fell in love again that day with my amazing brand new baby girl.